Ridding yourself of the Narcicissistic "Mother"...Finally: October 2013

When you discuss your life issues with your mother, does she divert the discussion to talk about herself? YES
When you discuss your feelings with your mother, does she she try to top the feeling with her own? YES
Does your mother act jealous of you? YES
Does your mother lack empathy for your feelings? YES
Does your mother only support those things you do that reflect on her as a “good mother?”YES
Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your mother?YES
Have you consistently questioned whether or not your mother likes you or loves you?YES
Does your mother only do things for you when others can see? NO
When something happens in your life (accident, illness, divorce,) does your mother react with how it will affect her rather than how you feel? YES. Always takes the other persons side. Even when an ex hit me.
Is or was your mother overly conscious of what others think (neighbors, friends, family, co-workers)? Yes. Still IS.
Does your mother deny her own feelings? I don't know.
Does your mother blame things on you or others rather than own responsibility for her feelings or actions? YES! 100%
Is or was your mother hurt easily and then carried a grudge for a long time without resolving the problem? YES.
Do you feel you were a slave to your mother?YES. A slave to her cruelty, abuse, manipulation, lies.
Do you feel you were responsible for your mother’s ailments or sickness (headaches, stress, illness)? I was responsible for everything....even her having to cook dinner. Sorry, I was 5. I didn't know how to use the stove.
Did you have to take care of your mother’s physical needs as a child? Psych needs not Physical.
Do you feel unaccepted by your mother?YES
Do you feel your mother was critical of you?YES
Do you feel helpless in the presence of your mother?Helpless because she is so self absorbed.
Are you shamed often by your mother?YES.
Do you feel your mother knows the real you?NO.
Does your mother act like the world should revolve around her?YES.
Do you find it difficult to be a separate person from your mother?No.
Does your mother appear phony to you?YES .
Does your mother want to control your choices?YES.
Does your mother swing from egotistical to a depressed mood?YES.
Did you feel you had to take care of your mother’s emotional needs as a child?YES.
Do you feel manipulated in the presence of your mother?YES.
Do you feel valued by mother for what you do rather than who you are?YES.
Is your mother controlling, acting like a victim or martyr?OMG!! YES!!!!
Does your mother make you act different from how you really feel?YES .
Does your mother compete with you?OMG!! YES!!!
Does your mother always have to have things her way?YES!!!!!!!!!

Note: All of these questions relate to narcissistic traits. The more questions you checked, the more likely your mother has narcissistic traits and this has caused some difficulty for you as a growing daughter and adult.

Narcissistic Mother? Survey

Narcissistic Mother?

The Six Faces of Maternal Narcissism: What Does the Empty Mirror Reflect for You?

Karyl Mcbride

http://community.drphil.com/profile.blog/karyl_mcbride/?EntryID=33507

Malignant Narcissist

Therapy[edit]

Typically in the analysis of the malignant narcissist, "the patient attempts to triumph over the analyst by destroying the analysis and himself or herself"^[11] — an extreme version of what Lacan described as "that resistance of the amour-propre...which is often expressed thus: 'I can't bear the thought of being freed by anyone other than myself'".^[12]

History[edit]

Social psychologist Erich Fromm first coined the term "malignant narcissism" in 1964, describing it as a "severe mental sickness" representing "the quintessence of evil". He characterized the condition as "the most severe pathology and the root of the most vicious destructiveness and inhumanity".^[3] Edith Weigert (1967) saw malignant narcissism as a "regressive escape from frustration by distortion and denial of reality"; while Herbert Rosenfeld (1971) described it as "a disturbing form of narcissistic personality where grandiosity is built around aggression and the destructive aspects of the self become idealized".^[4]

Daughter of Narcissistic Mother.....as simple as Wikipedia explains so why did it take me until age 46 to figure this out???!:)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_parenthttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_parent

Narcissistic people have extremely poor self esteem and feel the need to control how others regard them, deeply fearing they will be blamed or rejected and personal inadequacies exposed. They are self absorbed, some to the point of grandiosity, and preoccupied with protecting their self image. Their interpersonal behavior tends to be inflexible, and they often have an inability to admit faults or to feel empathy.[4]

According to American psychologist Alan Rappoport, narcissism is based on very low self esteem, Narcissists are afraid that others will think ill of them. To protect their fragile sense of self, they seek to control what others think and how they behave.[4] Narcissistic parents "demand certain behavior from their children because they see the children as extensions of themselves and need the children to represent them in the world in ways that meet the parents’ emotional needs."[4] Thus narcissistic parents may speak of "carry[ing] the torch," "maintain[ing] the family image," or "make[ing] mum or dad proud" and may reproach their children for exhibiting "weakness," "being too dramatic," or not meeting the standard of "what is expected." As a result, children of narcissists learn to "play their part" and from time to time are expected to "perform their special skill," especially in public or for others. In extension, children of narcissists typically do not have many memories of having felt loved or appreciated for being themselves, but rather associate their experience of love and appreciation with conforming to the demands of the narcissistic parent.[8]

The children are punished if they do not respond adequately to the parents' needs. This punishment may take a variety of forms, including physical abuse, angry outbursts,blame, attempts to instill guilt, emotional neglect, and criticism. Whatever form it takes, the purpose of the punishment is to enforce compliance with the parents' narcissistic needs."[4]

they turn every conversation to themselves, constantly demand attention, fish for compliments, fail to listen, use possessions without asking, find laughing at themselves hard, exaggerate and make demeaning comments about their children."[11]

"Narcissistic parents give rise to either narcissistic or codependent offspring because [of] their inability to engage emotionally with their children's needs."[12] Narcissistic parents likely went through some form of emotional or psychological neglect in their own childhoods, thus may find it difficult to place their children's needs and interests ahead of their own desire to feel in control.[citation needed]

The sensitive, guilt-ridden children in the family learn to meet the parent’s needs for gratification and try to get love by accommodating the whims and wishes of the parent. The child’s normal feelings are ignored, denied and eventually repressed in attempts to gain the parent’s “love.” Guilt and shame keep the child locked into this developmental arrest. Their aggressive impulses and rage become split off and are not integrated with normal development. These children develop a false self as defense mechanism and become co-dependent in relationships. The child's unconscious denial of their true self perpetuates a cycle self-hatred, fearing any reminder of their authentic self.^[13]

"narcassistic abuse" to refer to a specific form of emotional abuse of children by what she considered narcissistic parents - parents who require the child to give up their own wants and feelings in order to serve the parent's needs for esteem, which constitutes narcissistic abuse.^[2] The term has also come to be used more widely to refer to forms of abuse in adult relationships on the part of the narcissist.^{[dubious – discuss]}

^{Miller's early work in particular was very much in line with Kohut's tale of deficits in empathy and mirroring, with a stress on the way adults revisit and perpetuate the narcissistic wounds of their own early years^[12] in an intergenerational cycle of narcissistic abuse. In Miller's view, when abused for the sake of adults' needs, children could develop an amazing ability to perceive and respond intuitively, that is, unconsciously, to this need of the mother, or of both parents, for him to take on the role that had unconsciously been assigned to him.^[13]}

Object relations theory for its part stresses both that the most traumatizing experience of all is the absence of emotional giving from a mother or father, and that, in an intergenerational pattern, people who have been brought up by tyrannical authoritarian parents will often parent their children in the same way.^[18] Adam Phillips adds that the mother who colonizes her child and stifles gestures of autonomy and difference breeds in him or her an often unconscious craving for the dead-end justice of revenge.^[19]
Kohut and self psychology (This explains my mom exactly)[edit]

Kohut explored a wide range of rage experiences in his seminal article 'Thoughts on Narcissism and Narcissistic Rage' (1972).^[15] He considered narcissistic rage as one major form among many, contrasting it especially with mature aggression.^[16] Because the very structure of the self itself is enfeebled in the narcissist, their rage cannot flower into real assertiveness;^[17] and they are left instead prone to oversensitivity to perceived or imagined narcissistic injuries resulting in narcissistic rage.^[18]

For Kohut, narcissistic rage is related to narcissists' need for total control of their environment, including "the need for revenge, for righting a wrong, for undoing a hurt by whatever means".^[19] It is an attempt by the narcissist to turn from a passive sense of victimization to an active role in giving pain to others, while at the same time attempting to rebuild their own (actually false) sense of self-worth. It may also involve self-protection and preservation, with rage serving to restore a sense of safety and power by destroying that which had threatened the narcissist.^[19]

Alternatively, according to Kohut, rages can be seen as a result of the shame at being faced with failure.^[20] Narcissistic rage is the uncontrollable and unexpected anger that results from a narcissistic injury - a threat to a narcissist's self-esteem or worth. Rage comes in many forms, but all pertain to the same important thing: revenge. Narcissistic rages are based on fear and will endure even after the threat is gone.^[21]

To the narcissist, the rage is directed towards the person that they feel has slighted them; to other people, the rage is incoherent and unjust. This rage impairs their cognition, therefore impairing their judgment. During the rage they are prone to shouting, fact distortion and making groundless accusations.^[22] In his book The Analysis of the Self, Kohut explains that expressions caused by a sense of things not going the expected way blossom into rages, and narcissists may even search for conflict to find a way to alleviate pain or suffering.^[23]

Narcissists are often pseudo-perfectionists and require being the center of attention. They create situations in which they will receive attention.^{[citation needed]} His/her attempts at being perfect are cohesive with the narcissist's grandiose self-image. If a perceived state of perfection is not reached, it can lead to guilt, shame, anger or anxiety because he/she believes that he/she will lose the admiration and love from other people if he/she is not perfect.^[24]

Really to recognise narcissism in oneself is profoundly distressing."^{[27]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_rage}

Ridding yourself of the Narcicissistic "Mother"...Finally

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Ridding yourself of the Narcicissistic "Mother"...Finally: Help for Family of NPD sufferer

Monday, October 21, 2013

Disability Harassment_ narcissistic mother harassing disabled daughter.

Street harassment. Afraid of NM in public

NM psychologically harassing DONM

Narcicisstic mother harassing me, spreading false rumors, disclosing my confidential information to public.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Tiring to be upright

Wow! Describes me perfectly. Thanks mom.....NOT.

Help for Family of NPD sufferer

Good descriptoon of the general harm of the evil, aka narcissistic parent

Game is over. I win.

Evil Mothers

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

POSITIVE THOUGHTS BOOST HEalth

Narcicissistic mother holds on tightly to her victim to retaliate

Monday, October 14, 2013

Check all those that apply to the relationship with your "Mother".....My answers.....