Narcissistic people have extremely poor self esteem and feel the need to control how others regard them, deeply fearing they will be blamed or rejected and personal inadequacies exposed. They are self absorbed, some to the point of grandiosity, and preoccupied with protecting their self image. Their interpersonal behavior tends to be inflexible, and they often have an inability to admit faults or to feel empathy.[4]
According to American psychologist Alan Rappoport, narcissism is based on very low self esteem, Narcissists are afraid that others will think ill of them. To protect their fragile sense of self, they seek to control what others think and how they behave.[4] Narcissistic parents "demand certain behavior from their children because they see the children as extensions of themselves and need the children to represent them in the world in ways that meet the parents’ emotional needs."[4] Thus narcissistic parents may speak of "carry[ing] the torch," "maintain[ing] the family image," or "make[ing] mum or dad proud" and may reproach their children for exhibiting "weakness," "being too dramatic," or not meeting the standard of "what is expected." As a result, children of narcissists learn to "play their part" and from time to time are expected to "perform their special skill," especially in public or for others. In extension, children of narcissists typically do not have many memories of having felt loved or appreciated for being themselves, but rather associate their experience of love and appreciation with conforming to the demands of the narcissistic parent.[8]
The children are punished if they do not respond adequately to the parents' needs. This punishment may take a variety of forms, including physical abuse, angry outbursts,blame, attempts to instill guilt, emotional neglect, and criticism. Whatever form it takes, the purpose of the punishment is to enforce compliance with the parents' narcissistic needs."[4]
they turn every conversation to themselves, constantly demand attention, fish for compliments, fail to listen, use possessions without asking, find laughing at themselves hard, exaggerate and make demeaning comments about their children."[11]
"Narcissistic parents give rise to either narcissistic or codependent offspring because [of] their inability to engage emotionally with their children's needs."[12] Narcissistic parents likely went through some form of emotional or psychological neglect in their own childhoods, thus may find it difficult to place their children's needs and interests ahead of their own desire to feel in control.[citation needed]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_parent
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